I left him.
He left me.
I got dumped.
I dumped him.
We broke up.
We decided that we’re better off as friend (oh, seriously?).
all mean the same thing, don’t they? They just mean that your relationship with your boy/girlfriend is over; that it has been broken in one way or another; that the two, or most likely, (only) one of you got tired or maybe just bored of the other one; that one side just can’t take the relationship any further and decided to end it with whatever reasons.
Isn’t it funny how you could never start a relationship with only one person willing to take part in the relationship, but you could end it with only one person going away from the other one. Well, some people would say that one person could try to hold it back together or not letting the one one go anywhere, trying to keep the other side from slipping away, but we all know that the truth is, when one has decided to end the relationship, when one has decided to leave the relationship behind, the relationship is finished. (S)he has slipped away from your hand. Because when there is only one person in a relationship trying to keep everything in its way, while the other one is trying to get away, it is not really a boyfriend-girlfriend-kind-of-relationship anymore. It might still be a relationship, but rather it might be a someone-and-his/her-admirer-kind of-relationship, and both person in the relationship already know how it would end.
One could say whatever reasons to end a relationship, but for most of the times, it only sounded like “I just want this relationship to end” to the one who’s listening. And when you are that someone who’s listening, whether you decide to say “No way” or maybe “Okay,” deep inside, you know that everything is over.
Because sometimes, there’s nothing better than the lyrics of beautiful old song…
From Loving You
From that first look I knew
I found heaven in your eyes
But who was to know, the way it would go
I have no regrets
Glad I let you in
Wouldn’t have missed one single moment
I would do it all over again
‘Cause I was loved
I was touched
And I learned what love is, and I learned what love is
I was blessed
‘Cause I learned what love is, I learned what love is
From loving you
– Mandy Moore
If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.
― Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
All this time I have been someone who always give my sister the kind of what-the-hell-were-you-doing whenever she told me that she went out to eat or to shop at a mall or to watch a movie by herself. I have always been the one who think about how other people would look at me and think that girl looks like she could use some of my pities for sitting there by herself. I have always been the one who would rather cook a bowl of instant noodles rather than go out to a restaurant or cafe all by myself to just eat something. I have always been the one who feels uncomfortable whenever I need to wait for someone by myself, standing on the side of the road or sitting awkwardly in front of some buildings. I hate being alone. Being by myself. That doesn’t mean I always have someone to accompany me, though. Sometimes I don’t have anyone to stand by my side and knows that it can’t be helped, but I just didn’t want to be seen on those lonely moments. I’d stay at home although there’s no one there, either. Always thought that being by myself when I’m surrounded by a crowd of people chatting and laughing is much more miserable that being my myself at home.
Today is different. I am right now sitting by myself, in the corner of my favorite cafe, blog-walking, reading people’s thoughts, smiling, laughing, wiping tears (wait, am I?). Have been here for hours, looking at people coming and leaving the cafe one by one, not wanting to leave, swearing at my self for forgetting my mac charger at home. Well, I still have another half an hour before this mac goes off for not having any battery left, though. And I guess I won’t leave the place until then. I don’t know why. Now I think my room would be an even more miserable place to be than this cafe. I guess there has been too many changes taken place in the last few weeks that it started to change me, too. I guess now I just don’t care what other people think I looks like sitting here by myself for hours. Probably they would just enjoy themselves and won’t even realize my existence in this corner. Now that I think about it, they won’t even care, then why should I? I do enjoy the loneliness, and that’s all that matters.
Such an amazing read. Brilliant! Being in a state of losing a hope, I got totally drawn in every words.
I was trying to find something to do this afternoon and I remembered that I haven’t been reading for the last few weeks, so I walked to the bookshelf in the house and looked for a rather-thin-book because I was just not in the mood for heavy reading. I found this book titled “DreamCacther” by Alanda Kariza, an inspirational youth of Indonesia who has had done many amazing things despite her young age of 21. Apparently my sister bought this book some times ago but hasn’t even tear the plastic warp open.
DreamCatcher got my attention in seconds because it was very neatly design. The cover is mainly in blue and it has some kind of cloud hanging in the upright corner of the book. The forewords of this book was written by Monique Coleman, The United Nation’s first-ever “Youth Champion” who was also a Disney Actress best known for her co-starring role in High School Musical movies. That was not a surprise knowing that Alanda Kariza has often been appointed as Indonesian representative at so many youth conferences all around the world.
DreamCatcher is such an inspiring book. In this book, Alanda Kariza talks about her way of looking at dreams, her way of pursuing her dreams,why as youths, as the young generation, as the future leaders, and as individuals do we need to have a dream higher than the sky, and how are we going to built our our own stairs to reach and catch those dreams. I said ‘talks’ and not ‘wrote’ because that is what it feels like. The book is structured in steps kind of template where it starts with inventing your dreams, fight your takedowns, designing the blueprint, making them come true, and living your dream.
This book is not a monologe. In every steps of the book, there are activity sheets where you can (or should) write your dreams and schedule, analyzing your own principles and takedowns, listing down your opportunities, and other fun things. I felt like I was having a discussion with Alanda Kariza throughout the whole book. The book is also full of inspiring quotes and interviews that the writer did to some other inspirational youth of Indonesia who have thrived their way in many different paths.
As I wrote in my review of this book on goodreads.com, this book hasn’t only woke me up from my sleep like the other books did, but it also gave me the breakfast-like-energy to go and guide me in drawing my own map of the roads I need to walk on to reach for my dreams. Alanda Kariza and many others have proven that our dreams are something we
can have to chase and catch, now what are we waiting for to go chase and catch ours?