Mereka selalu berkata bahwa semua ada waktunya. Mereka berkata bahwa semua ada akhirnya. Namun siapa yang sebenarnya menentukan waktunya? Siapa yang menentukan akhirnya? Tak bolehkah aku turut andil menentukannya? Tak bolehkah aku menyarankan agar semua ini tidak berakhir disini?
Ah, tenanglah, aku tahu semua memang telah tiba di ujung jalan. Aku tak suka mengakuinya, tapi memang aku juga turut andil memilih jalan kita dulu. Tentu salahku juga jika ternyata jalan yang kita pilih harus berakhir di sudut buntu.
Yah, paling tidak jalan ini tidak berakhir di sudut kota yang pengap dan menyesakkan. Paling tidak sudut buntu ini cukup nyaman untukku menetap. Paling tidak sudut ini tak lantas melenyapkanmu dari duniaku. Aku berterima kasih untuk itu.
Kau ingat aku?
Mungkin memang tak seharusnya ku merasa begitu
Tapi bukankah masih sewajarnya muncul rasa itu?
Aku tak apa bila kau dan mereka tahu
Tak apa pula meski kau tak rindu aku
– Chapter 5 of ‘Dilaudid’ – by Lintilla (archieveofourown.org)
Being lied to does not only destroy trusts.
Being lied to is being thrown off from a cliff.
Being lied to is having you stabbed me.
Being lied to shows I believed in you far too much.
Being lied to shows I do not even worth the truth.
Being lied to shows I am not that important for you.
I left him.
He left me.
I got dumped.
I dumped him.
We broke up.
We decided that we’re better off as friend (oh, seriously?).
all mean the same thing, don’t they? They just mean that your relationship with your boy/girlfriend is over; that it has been broken in one way or another; that the two, or most likely, (only) one of you got tired or maybe just bored of the other one; that one side just can’t take the relationship any further and decided to end it with whatever reasons.
Isn’t it funny how you could never start a relationship with only one person willing to take part in the relationship, but you could end it with only one person going away from the other one. Well, some people would say that one person could try to hold it back together or not letting the one one go anywhere, trying to keep the other side from slipping away, but we all know that the truth is, when one has decided to end the relationship, when one has decided to leave the relationship behind, the relationship is finished. (S)he has slipped away from your hand. Because when there is only one person in a relationship trying to keep everything in its way, while the other one is trying to get away, it is not really a boyfriend-girlfriend-kind-of-relationship anymore. It might still be a relationship, but rather it might be a someone-and-his/her-admirer-kind of-relationship, and both person in the relationship already know how it would end.
One could say whatever reasons to end a relationship, but for most of the times, it only sounded like “I just want this relationship to end” to the one who’s listening. And when you are that someone who’s listening, whether you decide to say “No way” or maybe “Okay,” deep inside, you know that everything is over.
Because sometimes, there’s nothing better than the lyrics of beautiful old song…
From Loving You
From that first look I knew
I found heaven in your eyes
But who was to know, the way it would go
I have no regrets
Glad I let you in
Wouldn’t have missed one single moment
I would do it all over again
‘Cause I was loved
I was touched
And I learned what love is, and I learned what love is
I was blessed
‘Cause I learned what love is, I learned what love is
From loving you
– Mandy Moore