Tag Archives: thoughts

Make The New Year A Better One

In the last couple of years, I have read numerous articles and blog post titled something around the line of “XX things I wish people told me when I was in college” or “Several things I wish I knew when I was 20,” etc. Most of them have pretty similar content. They all wish to know about how certain act or decision that they make at those time would affect their life years afterward or how certain like their looks, their weight does not matter, that life’s hard and it’s okay to have a problem. The thing is I think it is quite bullshit to say that on those years of their youth there is not single one person who actually come up to them and say “Hey, really, everything is okay,” or “Yes you made a mistake, now forgive yourself and move on,” or “Get out of here, travel and explore the world as far as you can but never forget those you left behind.”

Come on, let’s talk reality! We heard them before. People (probably family, friends, teacher) told us about those things. Problem is we just did not want believe it. Or we probably did, but we chose to forget them, we just did not really consider those things when we made out decision. I heard those things before. I knew about them last year or the year before that and I made a mistake when I dismissed them on most of my decision making process.

Now, I know we can’t change our past, but the future is exactly what we can build and shape. I am not saying that the future is one hundred percent up to us, but we all have a major role in it. The next small decision we make might define our life in the next 10 years. To ensure that they’ll be a good one, let’s just remember all the things that we know or we have known once, remember all the things people have told us all these years, and choose to believe in them. Choose to remember them and make them our consideration in making the next thousands of decisions. Let’s ensure that by the end of next year or the years after that, we won’t regret a thing. Let’s ensure that none of this year’s mistakes, regret and disappointment would ever repeat itself.

Happy New Year, everybody! Let’s not just wish but ensure it to be a good one ourself. Make it better than any we have had.

Between The Idea of Free Will and Doubt

The era in which we live in right now, free will seems to be a fundamental idea on almost every discussion, debate or decision making process. It probably started in all of those so-called liberal countries. Or maybe not. Maybe it was an idea buried in every mind that was awaken, broaden and made stronger when we hear someone else talk about it.

The way I see it, the notion of free will have a lot to do with what we call as doubt. Doubt (verb ˈdat) is defined by Merriam-Webster Online as “to be uncertain about (something); to believe that (something) may not be true or is unlikely; or to have no confidence in (someone or something).”

I think that in one way, it was awaken by the abundance of doubt we have in other people, in the system in which we live in, in destiny, in religion, in God or whatever else was supposed to take over our choices. Or rather, it might have been awaken by the lack of these doubt when it comes to our own relative thoughts, our individual concept of belief, or of our very own personal choices. I do have a tendency to think that it was more the earlier, or at least that is the way it is for me. The reason being even in most of the times I use my own free will on a decision making, I still have this fear inside of me that keep asking myself if I have made the right choice, if my judgement was not clouded, if it was after all the best possible outcome of the situation. This fear however, is usually less significant compared to the doubt I felt towards the system or destiny or other people’s interest on my choice. Or else I would not think it too hard before deciding something.

The thing is, I sometimes feel that the believe we have in this notion of free will is absolutely exhausting. Sometimes I have this envious feeling to  see people around me who have the faith in destiny, in the way everything is arranged for a reason. I envy their faith in how their effort is the thing that mattered more than the result because it was supposed to be chosen for the best when they have done their best. Without this belief sometimes I wonder how we are managing to live with ourselves in the face of failure to think of it as an after effect of one past decision or another. 

But the problem of the doubt does not seem to stop there with me. Somehow my mind has managed to turn the whole thing around and confront the idea of doubt and free will directly. Now I ask myself, “What if this idea of free will is just an illusion?” What if there is destiny after all, and all this time we just think that we are making the decision while all along, they have been made for us long before the problem actually come up? 

Either way, I know that I still need to keep trying to make the best decision if I want the best result there is. But I do hope that these efforts will actually be enough.

Love Paper-bound Books? At Least Give E-books A Try!

For quite a long time, I used to be one of those people who looks at e-books and say: “Nah, I love real books. They are great. No need to make them electronic.” Now, I still love real books, but they’re not always better. Yes, sometimes it does not feel that satisfying, or does not feel quite like reading, without a real ink-on-paper book in your hand. But we have got to admit, at some condition, e-books is just that much more convenient. Here’s how:

  • Read anytime, anywhere, even when you did not plan to do so. We all book lovers know that there are always those days when we just get that urge to read something. Or one of those times when we are waiting for a friend (or two) who got really late and we just get bored. Well, of course we can go online and update our status about said friend being late, but come on, sometimes we just wish that we have brought that book that we have been planing on reading for quite some time already. With e-books being stored in your gadget (which I am sure you bring with you anywhere you go), read whenever you feel like it!
  • Don’t feel like reading fiction? The history book is just one click away. Seriously, I think this is the best thing about e-books: we carry the whole bookshelves (if not library) in our hands! I don’t know about everyone else, but I am the kind of person who read three to five books at the same time. Well, if the book is awesome and I am in the right mood for it, I usually finish the book right away. But let’s admit it, sometimes the book is quite interesting, but we’re not that interested in it at the moment. For me, that is the time to get started on another book that fits better with the mood I’m in. To be able to do this with real paper-bound books would mean some extra kilograms on our shoulder. Ouch!
  • Find and read A LOT of books for free. Ha! Who does not love free stuffs? I sure do. And right now, the Internet is full of websites that allows you to download a lot (really, I mean A LOT) of e-books for free. There free books mostly consist of the old classics, the self-published books, or sometimes.. uhm, you don’t hear this from me – those romance books that are full of erotic scenes and all that. Well, and of course if you have no care about the legality of your reading materials, you can find all the great books you want, for free, too. Although I think you still should pay for the books if you really like it. Or at least review the book or something. Those brilliant writer deserves our appreciation, too.
  • Keep the books new. Of course, e-books will never looks old, get torn, have curling edges. No more creases because you slept on it. No more coffee or tea stain. Oh, and you can back up the file and have multiple copies of them on your phone, pc, tablet, external drive or even online. No one will ever say they lost their (e)books anymore!
  • Choose your text font and size. This is one of my favourite thing. You know those books that have text so small and makes you wonder if you’ve got old? Say goodbye to them! The thing about reading e-books on e-book reading device or application, is that for most of the times, you could adjust the font and size of the text. Well, maybe not on .pdf file, but on .epub and .mobi you sure can. And not to mention, the light adjustment! Read them under a dim light without hurting the eyes!

So, yeah, those are just some reasons on why I think e-books are so enjoyable. I’m sure I can come up with some more by the end of the week. I am not saying they are better then real paper-bound books. I still love them. A lot. My bookshelves is a real proof of that. I am just saying, if you haven’t try to read books on your mobile, it’s time. These e-books are lovable, too!

It’s time!

Time to wake up and rise again on your two feet, now! There will always be problems every now and then, but it doesn’t mean you should stop right there and get stuck. It only means that you are going to be stronger and be better. It might be too late to save the past, but it is time to move if you want to save your future. Let them know what you are capable of. Don’t just aim only to survive when you can strive. 

Losing faith on yourself

One of the most terrible feeling in the world is probably when you lose the faith on yourself. It really is quite normal when you lose faith on someone else, on an idea, on an knowledge. But losing faith in yourself is like losing faith in everything in the world. When you lose faith in yourself, you don’t even believe your instincts, you don’t have the confidence in what you are doing, you have no certainty on how you are supposed to walk on the earth any further. It is not only walking without knowing where you are going, but more like walking while you are not sure whether you are supposed to be walking at all. 

When you lose faith on someone, there is big probability that someone is going to either convince you otherwise or tell you that yes, he was not someone you believed him to be. When you lose your faith in an idea, you automatically turn into another idea, into something contradictory. When you lose faith in yourself, who are you turning to? Will there be anyone who would try to convince you otherwise? Or well, would people even know at all? Would people even realize it? Would you?

Paling tidak..

Mereka selalu berkata bahwa semua ada waktunya. Mereka berkata bahwa semua ada akhirnya. Namun siapa yang sebenarnya menentukan waktunya? Siapa yang menentukan akhirnya? Tak bolehkah aku turut andil menentukannya? Tak bolehkah aku menyarankan agar semua ini tidak berakhir disini?

Ah, tenanglah, aku tahu semua memang telah tiba di ujung jalan. Aku tak suka mengakuinya, tapi memang aku juga turut andil memilih jalan kita dulu. Tentu salahku juga jika ternyata jalan yang kita pilih harus berakhir di sudut buntu.

Yah, paling tidak jalan ini tidak berakhir di sudut kota yang pengap dan menyesakkan. Paling tidak sudut buntu ini cukup nyaman untukku menetap. Paling tidak sudut ini tak lantas melenyapkanmu dari duniaku. Aku berterima kasih untuk itu.